"My Rose Garden"
When the pandemic was announced I was frightened, but I knew I was so privileged compared to many others. My loving husband made sure to get enough groceries to last us more than a month comfortably. The cereals he bought were a brand that I didn’t particularly enjoy and he bought olive oil instead of the canola oil because “I could stand to lose a couple of the pounds” that I gained since moving to America. You see my husband is a very successful American computer engineer that was willing to marry this simple girl from a small village in Kerala, India. Not only did he bring me to America, but he also provided me gardening tools for my favorite past time for my time alone at home: my rose garden. I care for and nurture my rose garden as if it is my baby and because of that my roses are famous in my neighborhood for being so beautiful. My husband and I live in Houston, TX which is just a 4-hour drive from my sister in Dallas but we don’t visit each other very often. My sister always teases me that I must be having too much fun with my husband because ever since I moved to America I don’t call her nearly as much as I called her while I was still in India. The truth is that my husband isn’t a big fan of me speaking to her because he says that she is too outspoken and he doesn’t want me learning from her. He is actually not fond of me speaking to any of my family members much but I am always able to sneak in a few phone calls when he goes to work or leaves the house to run errands. My husband just received an email that staff will now have to work from home, I wonder when will I be able to speak to my family now?
……
Quarantine is rough. My poor husband is very stressed out working from home and has been negatively impacted by the lack of social interaction as he is a very social man. I attempt to have conversations with him and try to make him feel better but he seems to get irritated and scream at me anytime I am near him but I understand he doesn’t mean it. He even stopped buying fertilizer for my roses because he said I spend too much time taking care of them. I, like him, am also missing the social aspect of life and I haven’t felt a sense of happiness in a while so the roses were my only outlet but I know my husband is a very smart man and knows the best for me. I am going to leave now, dinner isn’t made and I don’t want any problems for the rest of today.
……
Yesterday he hit me. Even though he had threatened to hurt me many times I never thought he actually would. I felt so sad and cried for hours and only stopped when he threatened to hit me again if I didn’t stop crying. I know this pandemic is hard on him but why doesn’t he understand me? My mother in law came to visit yesterday night and I confided in her. She told me that men can have a temper and things like this happen in all marriages. She advised me to let it go and to just cook him my best meal. She also told me that if this happens again to just take it and not tell anyone or else he could get arrested and I would be left with no one to take care of me. I am going to take her advice because she is supposed to be like my mom right? She has my best interest in heart right? She also asked to take one of my favorite roses home to plant in her garden and I gave it to her of course but it stung my heart.
……
It has been a week since I have left my bed. I know I will get beat even if I do the things around the house so might as well get beat laying on my bed. I look out the window next to me and I see my rose garden skinny, brown, and dying from no water or care and I crave to feel their pain. My stomach burning with hunger is giving me more satisfaction than a big warm bowl of soup. I shift my hand and a hair that was stuck on my finger is pulled and it feels so good. And then it began pluck, pluck, pluck,…….
When the pandemic was announced I was frightened, but I knew I was so privileged compared to many others. My loving husband made sure to get enough groceries to last us more than a month comfortably. The cereals he bought were a brand that I didn’t particularly enjoy and he bought olive oil instead of the canola oil because “I could stand to lose a couple of the pounds” that I gained since moving to America. You see my husband is a very successful American computer engineer that was willing to marry this simple girl from a small village in Kerala, India. Not only did he bring me to America, but he also provided me gardening tools for my favorite past time for my time alone at home: my rose garden. I care for and nurture my rose garden as if it is my baby and because of that my roses are famous in my neighborhood for being so beautiful. My husband and I live in Houston, TX which is just a 4-hour drive from my sister in Dallas but we don’t visit each other very often. My sister always teases me that I must be having too much fun with my husband because ever since I moved to America I don’t call her nearly as much as I called her while I was still in India. The truth is that my husband isn’t a big fan of me speaking to her because he says that she is too outspoken and he doesn’t want me learning from her. He is actually not fond of me speaking to any of my family members much but I am always able to sneak in a few phone calls when he goes to work or leaves the house to run errands. My husband just received an email that staff will now have to work from home, I wonder when will I be able to speak to my family now?
……
Quarantine is rough. My poor husband is very stressed out working from home and has been negatively impacted by the lack of social interaction as he is a very social man. I attempt to have conversations with him and try to make him feel better but he seems to get irritated and scream at me anytime I am near him but I understand he doesn’t mean it. He even stopped buying fertilizer for my roses because he said I spend too much time taking care of them. I, like him, am also missing the social aspect of life and I haven’t felt a sense of happiness in a while so the roses were my only outlet but I know my husband is a very smart man and knows the best for me. I am going to leave now, dinner isn’t made and I don’t want any problems for the rest of today.
……
Yesterday he hit me. Even though he had threatened to hurt me many times I never thought he actually would. I felt so sad and cried for hours and only stopped when he threatened to hit me again if I didn’t stop crying. I know this pandemic is hard on him but why doesn’t he understand me? My mother in law came to visit yesterday night and I confided in her. She told me that men can have a temper and things like this happen in all marriages. She advised me to let it go and to just cook him my best meal. She also told me that if this happens again to just take it and not tell anyone or else he could get arrested and I would be left with no one to take care of me. I am going to take her advice because she is supposed to be like my mom right? She has my best interest in heart right? She also asked to take one of my favorite roses home to plant in her garden and I gave it to her of course but it stung my heart.
……
It has been a week since I have left my bed. I know I will get beat even if I do the things around the house so might as well get beat laying on my bed. I look out the window next to me and I see my rose garden skinny, brown, and dying from no water or care and I crave to feel their pain. My stomach burning with hunger is giving me more satisfaction than a big warm bowl of soup. I shift my hand and a hair that was stuck on my finger is pulled and it feels so good. And then it began pluck, pluck, pluck,…….